<%@LANGUAGE="VBSCRIPT" CODEPAGE="1252"%> <% Dim sActiveMenu sActiveMenu = "Blog" %> The Life and Times of Jon Graves
 

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The SingleDad crew

The SingleDad crew: Jesse Lozano, Richard Jaramillo, and Jon Graves The SingleDad crew: Jesse Lozano (DJ for KIIS FM in LA and 93.3 FM in San Diego), Richard "RJ" Jaramillo (founder and president of SingleDad.com), and yours truly. It's odd to see myself in pictures like this, but I'm so honored to stand beside these two men and raise the flag for single dads. We should start a rock band. Oh wait, we already did. See?
The SingleDad Rock Band photo shootLife has changed so much. A year ago today I was trying to find my way through the boys' first school orientation just a week and a half after Jeseca died. Today was the second version of that, and while I talked with the people I knew from last year, I realized that I've gone through a metamorphosis. I'm different than I was at this time last year. I guess it took school orientation for me to see it.

I honestly don't know how I've changed, just that I have. But you know what? I've given so much thought over the past few months about staying who I've been or venturing out to discover more of me, or who God may want me to be, that I'm kind of glad I've changed. I want to go beyond my comfort zone and allow God to use me more fully.

I'm proper. Maybe I shouldn't be, at least not all the time.

I can't dance. I want to learn.

And I want to take this gift God has given me as far as it can possibly go without giving in to that nagging feeling that I haven't done it before so "stick with what you know."

Nope. This really is the beginning of the next chapter. I've learned to accept that this is the life God has for me, at least for now. So I'm gonna do my best to embrace it all and look for that place in each day where God is smiling big and asking me to join in the fun.

The life God offers is full of promise and hope, regardless of our failures, our pain or our disappointments. But you have to watch for it. You have to listen for it. And you have to learn to act on it the moment it presents itself.

I'm not there. Not yet. But I'm learning... JG

posted by Jon Graves at 8:55 PM 1 comments links to this post

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Allowing for New

We went to the beach today. It was the first time in a long while I'd been in water anywhere outside of our community pool at the condo, but it was so great to get out and clear my head. My mom watched the boys and her dog, Rocky, while I jogged around a bit, and then Everen and I raced up the beach and into the water a few times. Christian, pictured above, simply wanted to play in the water and make "mud balls." I had to drag him away...he didn't care. Silly kid.

Sprinting is so much fun. I love the push it requires as you go from zero to full acceleration. Some of life is like a sprint, but it's distance running that tests your character. And that's what I face now...the longer race.

For 11 years I pursued only one thing: a better life with and for Jeseca. We had dreams and aspirations, both individual and joint, and together we built on them with the hope that one day we would look back and enjoy every moment we spent together achieving them. That was what made life worth living...that we would do everything together. And we did, actually. We did everything together.

Did we ever accomplish our dreams? No. I still can't putt to save my life (a requirement on the PGA Tour), and despite her incredible talent, she never became the most well-known portrait artist in America. But as we planned for those things, life happened all around us, and we had the opportunity to grow and to help others grow in the process. We grew closer to God, and we taught the boys about His amazing love and grace. We watched our marriage grow stronger in the face of adversity, and we had the opportunity to be an example to our cousins (Bob and Joy, you two are so amazingly great...I love you both and am so proud of you!) and other married couples we knew. And we learned that communication is the cornerstone to any great relationship. (We didn't always get it right, but we sure did try.)

Now the storyline has changed. And while I'm trying my best to take the next step, it sure is difficult to know where to place my foot. All I can do is trust that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

Someone recently told me that I will always carry Jeseca with me. I really will...

posted by Jon Graves at 2:17 AM 0 comments links to this post

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