Finishing
So much can happen in the span of two weeks. So much does happen. Yet I still see the hand of God at work in so many areas for our family.
Work has asked more of me; more time. No longer can I simply work the seven straight hours from 7:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. -- apparently it wasn't enough. So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am required in the office an additional 2-3 hours. Prior to my beginning this new set of hours, however, a colleague of mine introduced me to A Reason To Survive (ARTS). It turns out the founder of the organization lost his mom to cancer in the early '90s, so he started the non-profit to help other children deal with loss through visual and performing arts. Everen and Christian are enrolled on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 3:00 to 5:00 p.m., making masks and learning to beat the drums as loud as they possibly can.......at no charge. Our God is an amazing, loving, gracious God.
I've also finished transcribing Jeseca's fourth journal (just one more to go!!!), and just today finalized the layout and design of her first official book; the book she illustrated for the airport here in San Diego: Bessie Coleman - The Story of an Aviation Pioneer. It's beautiful. (Here's a preview of the book as it will be seen on the airport's website. Up to 30,000 are being printed. I want to thank Aaron Ishaeik for completing one of Jeseca's original illustrations. Well done, Aaron.)
I wrote the tribute to her and a dedication to the boys. And as I handed it off to print, it gave me hope that I will be able to finish each of the other projects we started together.
Something else I've found is that I've gone from mourning to contemplation. Somehow, in some way, God has taken away my need to revisit every day we spent together with sorrow. Instead, now I think about the life we led and the paths that joined our hearts as one after nearly 12 years together.
There have been times in the past several months (the sixth month is just a week away) when I would sit here at 2:00 a.m., listening to the music we cherished together; times when I would listen over and over to Michael Buble's Lost; times when I would fall to my knees as my soul cried out in anguish over the separation from the woman I believed would accompany me to the end of my days........ That's gone now. Part of me doesn't know how to feel about it. The other part glorifies God for his unwaivering lenience and gracious love for the sinful heart that continues to beat steadily in my chest.
He is such a loving God, caring more for me than I could ever imagine. He truly gives light to those who sit in darkness. He steadies the feet of the righteous, and picks up those who stumble.
Jeseca lives on in a place I will never begin to comprehend. I'm not there yet. But I owe him my very best until I am. JG
Work has asked more of me; more time. No longer can I simply work the seven straight hours from 7:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. -- apparently it wasn't enough. So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am required in the office an additional 2-3 hours. Prior to my beginning this new set of hours, however, a colleague of mine introduced me to A Reason To Survive (ARTS). It turns out the founder of the organization lost his mom to cancer in the early '90s, so he started the non-profit to help other children deal with loss through visual and performing arts. Everen and Christian are enrolled on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 3:00 to 5:00 p.m., making masks and learning to beat the drums as loud as they possibly can.......at no charge. Our God is an amazing, loving, gracious God.
I've also finished transcribing Jeseca's fourth journal (just one more to go!!!), and just today finalized the layout and design of her first official book; the book she illustrated for the airport here in San Diego: Bessie Coleman - The Story of an Aviation Pioneer. It's beautiful. (Here's a preview of the book as it will be seen on the airport's website. Up to 30,000 are being printed. I want to thank Aaron Ishaeik for completing one of Jeseca's original illustrations. Well done, Aaron.)I wrote the tribute to her and a dedication to the boys. And as I handed it off to print, it gave me hope that I will be able to finish each of the other projects we started together.
Something else I've found is that I've gone from mourning to contemplation. Somehow, in some way, God has taken away my need to revisit every day we spent together with sorrow. Instead, now I think about the life we led and the paths that joined our hearts as one after nearly 12 years together.
There have been times in the past several months (the sixth month is just a week away) when I would sit here at 2:00 a.m., listening to the music we cherished together; times when I would listen over and over to Michael Buble's Lost; times when I would fall to my knees as my soul cried out in anguish over the separation from the woman I believed would accompany me to the end of my days........ That's gone now. Part of me doesn't know how to feel about it. The other part glorifies God for his unwaivering lenience and gracious love for the sinful heart that continues to beat steadily in my chest.
He is such a loving God, caring more for me than I could ever imagine. He truly gives light to those who sit in darkness. He steadies the feet of the righteous, and picks up those who stumble.
Jeseca lives on in a place I will never begin to comprehend. I'm not there yet. But I owe him my very best until I am. JG
posted by Jon Graves at 8:48 PM
2 Comments:
Awesome...is all I can say. The graciousness of our God is ever so generous, isn't it. As I watch the boys flourish at the Rock Academy, I see joy in their eyes and smiles and hear it in their voices once again. You have been such a good and loving father to them through their heartache too. (Just as our Heavenly Father is to us.)
What a blessing also that God has given you the endurance when you've been exhausted and broken throughout your passion to complete Jes' legacy. And His joy is beginning to shine in your life once again also, for He said He has a plan for you. He will complete it.
I love you and the boys so very much and receive joy in my own heart watching the Lord work in your lives. You continue to be an inspiration and encourager for me and are continually in my prayers.
Thank you, as usual, for sharing your heart and love with the world for such a loving Father that overcomes.
Mom
John...I've only begin to read your blog but I am hooked! I'm amazed, envious a little, and impressed that you maintain such a positive outlook and continuous joy in your life with so much pressure and with the loss of Jes. I know when I lost my mother at 20 a part of me died and it wasn't until I TRULY received the Lord and sought His presence that the hole I once had began to be filled.
I am incredibly grateful that you have this blog going and it is an inspiration to me as I too enjoy writing and have been encouraged before to "post" my thoughts, stories, etc.
I look forward to talking to you more!
Tarl
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