Up and down in this journey
What else is there to say but that God is an incredible God? The boys are now attending The Rock Academy, and both received Student of the Week awards in just their second week in school. I am so proud of them. And I am so blessed; blessed by a loving God who put everything together for them before Jeseca passed away, and who has worked in their hearts and the hearts of their teachers to make all of it work together for good. He is an amazing, loving God. And I am blown away by the amount of love and support we have received over the past month. Yes, it's been a month.I am concerned about Christian, as he is consistently sad at school. Everything in his life has changed 100%. Not only did he lose his mom, but now, being at school where Kindergarten activities and schedules are different than his brother's Third Grade class, he no longer spends every waking moment with his brother. And he's feeling it. I was able to spend some time with him in his class today, and then went back to eat lunch with him around 11:15. As he eats, he can see his brother playing on the playground, and it's got to tear him up to know that he can't go say hello and get a hug. I hate that he has to go through this by himself. Lord, please come to his rescue. Rescue his broken heart.
There are moments in each day when I, too, flirt with emotional disaster, and anything can trigger it. Today it was as I was walking through Mervyn's with Christian. I noticed a pair of sandals that Jes would have liked, and as I stopped to take a second look (and the thought "Jes would like those" went flashing through my mind), I realized what I was doing and slumped. It was incredibly brief, but the thoughts were there. Oh how I miss her.
But I am hard at work on her story.
First, I am working on publishing Jeseca's journals -- one at a time -- and will place them on her new site when I finish redesigning it. There are a total of seven, I believe, and all will be published in a downloadable PDF so anyone can print them out and read them. I plan to sell them for just a couple of dollars each, which will help to (hopefully) raise some money for the boys' future.
I am also working on a book proposal with my aunt, who happens to know a pretty influential literary agent in the business. The book will be called, "The Cancer that God Gave," just as we thought about doing before. There are many reasons for it, but the main one is that, as I read through Jeseca's journals, her wholehearted request was to be used mightily by God. And it goes back far before her diagnosis in 2003.
I don't believe anyone can argue that God didn't honor her request. She truly was a miraculous work of the Lord. JG
posted by Jon Graves at 10:52 PM
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