Up and down in this journey
What else is there to say but that God is an incredible God? The boys are now attending The Rock Academy, and both received Student of the Week awards in just their second week in school. I am so proud of them. And I am so blessed; blessed by a loving God who put everything together for them before Jeseca passed away, and who has worked in their hearts and the hearts of their teachers to make all of it work together for good. He is an amazing, loving God. And I am blown away by the amount of love and support we have received over the past month. Yes, it's been a month.I am concerned about Christian, as he is consistently sad at school. Everything in his life has changed 100%. Not only did he lose his mom, but now, being at school where Kindergarten activities and schedules are different than his brother's Third Grade class, he no longer spends every waking moment with his brother. And he's feeling it. I was able to spend some time with him in his class today, and then went back to eat lunch with him around 11:15. As he eats, he can see his brother playing on the playground, and it's got to tear him up to know that he can't go say hello and get a hug. I hate that he has to go through this by himself. Lord, please come to his rescue. Rescue his broken heart.
There are moments in each day when I, too, flirt with emotional disaster, and anything can trigger it. Today it was as I was walking through Mervyn's with Christian. I noticed a pair of sandals that Jes would have liked, and as I stopped to take a second look (and the thought "Jes would like those" went flashing through my mind), I realized what I was doing and slumped. It was incredibly brief, but the thoughts were there. Oh how I miss her.
But I am hard at work on her story.
First, I am working on publishing Jeseca's journals -- one at a time -- and will place them on her new site when I finish redesigning it. There are a total of seven, I believe, and all will be published in a downloadable PDF so anyone can print them out and read them. I plan to sell them for just a couple of dollars each, which will help to (hopefully) raise some money for the boys' future.
I am also working on a book proposal with my aunt, who happens to know a pretty influential literary agent in the business. The book will be called, "The Cancer that God Gave," just as we thought about doing before. There are many reasons for it, but the main one is that, as I read through Jeseca's journals, her wholehearted request was to be used mightily by God. And it goes back far before her diagnosis in 2003.
I don't believe anyone can argue that God didn't honor her request. She truly was a miraculous work of the Lord. JG
posted by Jon Graves at 10:52 PM
3 Comments:
NAP TIME: THANK GOD FOR REST
I have been praying for Christian since the day I heard he was going to be in my class. I did not know what he looked like or what his little personality would be, but God tugged on my heart to start praying. I went back and read my own journal tonight and found his name on every single page up until last night. Then I came across your blog.
He has adjusted better than most students I have known. He loves to hold his friends hands and smiles when I do. (This now forces me to smile more, it feels good)
When he wakes up from his nap I always go to hug him first, and I hope its ok I kissed him on the forehead even too Friday for extra love. He sleeps laying on his back with his hands open palms up and mouth open as if singing to God. I almost cried the first time I watched him.
I am not perfect and I have never been a mom before, but I will do my best. I will give him as many smiles, hugs, kisses, and even opportunities to hug his brother as I possibly can. Fortunately, God's already holding Him and we can rest in that. Rest in a faithful God who takes care of all of his sheep. Even the little ones. Thanks for helping Friday. God Bless you and those little tigers! You guys rock!!!!! Hope you loved ISLANDS :))
PSALM 23 "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not be in want. He makes me LIE DOWN in green pastures. He leads beside quiet waters. He restores me soul."
Hi John,
I've been praying for Christian that God will give him strength and peace. You know how God can just take things and make them go away even though they seem so huge to us?
I hope I see you and the boys at church sometime so I can give them a hug.
I know that you went back to work yesterday too so prayers for that too. Wasn't church great on Sunday though? I was thinking of you!!!
much love,
nadine
Jon:
I've been praying for you and your sons. It was so good to hear from you again and I just love the picture. You and Jes have such handsome sons. I can't imagine how they feel but I pray that God will bring comfort to their little hearts as well as give you the strength to carry on. I'm looking so forward to your book as well as exerpts from the journal of Jes. It's so amazing how Jes remained so strong and positive throughout this trying and painful time in her life. Such an incredible woman whose life will impact others for many years to come. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us. We do truly care and lift you up to God.
Joan
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